Danny the Demon

We all have our own stories of who first introduced you to a titillating morsel of HOT! My was this older character from www.EnnisHomeRepair.com, Danny!

No, he wasn’t a home repair man at the time. He was just an older neighbor who was the neighborhood Svengali among all the kids. He had the ability to make you think you wanted to do what he wanted to see you do. That can be, and was at times, dangerous.

Jalapenos were abundant where I was raised. And so available, it became the standard of HEAT for all of us kids. Continue reading Danny the Demon

Super Saucy

So, I was at a restaurant the other day, Mexican cuisine.

You know, a Mexican restaurant is distinguished first and foremost by its salsa, right?

These guys didn’t have a clue! It was more like tomato sauce with blended chiles. Mild, watery, and tomatoey. Yuck!

I’ve been to El Paso, Texas. I know Mexican food. In El Paso, you can help a visitor determine which place to dine by three simple questions:

1. Do you like floating tacos or dry tacos?

This determines if they want tacos that are liquidy, that use more grease in their taco meat preparation or less.

2. Do you like flour or corn tortillas?

This lends a person toward authentic Mexico-Mexican (Mex-Mex) or toward Texas-Mexican (Tex-Mex). A blue corn preference leads you toward a New Mexico-Mexican (NewMex-Mex).

That’s the thing about El Paso, it’s perfectly poised to go South, north, left or right.

3. Do you want more zing in your salsa, or more sling in your salsa?

Zing in the salsa is more chunky and uses raw, not cooked, peppers

Sling uses more cooked, in a less thick tomato base rather than pepper base.

You get those brief answers and you can guide anyone to several choice restaurants with no trouble at all.

Put the SUC in succulent

The source hot sauce can be just about anything, when you think of it.

BUT…..there’s a new pain in town!  Smokin’ Ed’s Carolina Reaper is the Guinness World Records hottest chili pepper. (November 14, 2013 was the scorched earth day for that declaration)

How would they know? Isn’t it just what is hot to you? I mean, it might not be the same heat for me as it is for my grandmother.

Enter the Scoville Unit

You’ve probably at some time in your culinary experimentation taken some Tabasco Sauce. A tabasco pepper used as the base for tabasco sauce is rated at 30,000 – 50,000 Scoville Units. Capsicum frutescens.

The Caroline Reaper is rated at 1,569,383 – 2,200,000 Scoville Units. Capsicum Chinense.

You may want to get the picture before you get the pitcher of water to put the fire out!

Ed Currie, the cultivator of what was previously named “HP22B” (Caroline Reaper), is the proprietor of PUCKERBUTT Pepper Co., Fort Mill, South Carolina. The pepper is a hybrid ob a re naga pepper and a Red Savina pepper. Whew…that will pucker just about any part of your body!

Steven is Steaming

Does it really take “courage” to be a transvestite today?

The president of the United States has to come out when some creepy, has been sports legend can’t find any other means of stoking his craving for publicity, and say it takes courage today?

Really? How much courage does it take to go on record as not endorsing such craziness? Any encouragement there?

This guy has told the story that he turned to his reconstructive surgeon after his facial surgery and in a moment of clarity, panicked and asked, “What have I done?”

The guy doesn’t know who he is, and now, that he is completely different than how God made him, he wants others to accept him? How much sense does that make? Anybody ever heard of get good in the skin you’re in?

Identity is holistic…it includes your body, your mind, your emotions, and your soul. Are we to conclude that one of these is optional? The very act of reforming your body cosmetically will bring into alignment your total self, then aren’t we saying the body does have some vital part in all of it? If it does have a vital part, then shouldn’t we keep the one we are provided and allow it to give some instruction on who we really are as a person in mind, emotion, and soul?

This guy is messed up, and he’s gotten further messed up, now, with body, soul, mind, and spirit.

Courage? That’s ridiculous. That’s what’s the source of my hot sauce today!

Stuck on Hot, But Cooling Down

I actually know a guy and girl who play and sing jazz. Her sexy saxophone and his big bass go together like the sound of a train clipping over the rails.

To every jazz connoisseur, there is that lingering “back to it” gait that settles in the background just under the focus the music. Like an undertoe to melodic rhythm of the waves washing on the shore and running just as sweepingly back into the see, creating a common flooring where the trash and shells and drifting seaweed had been.

I don’t know if you have “heard” that crazy, over/under gait in a good piece of jazz play, but if you have, you could probably describe it better than me.

It was that very distinctive jazz dynamic that my friends and I were discussing. I asked the question of a non-artist, “How do you intentionally supply that dynamic when you are just straight line improvising (jamming) for minutes upon quarter hours at a time?”

I’ll never forget what they said…”You know hot sauce, Steven. You’ll understand it this way… you’ve got to find what is hot, stick to it, and without losing it, cool on down.”

My goodness, I know exactly what they mean….do you?

Tick Tock Hot

OK, it happened again.

The dog from down the street visited my yard and left me a little present. Two presents to be exact. Each piled neatly at the base of two different trees.

What do I do?

Someone told me to put mothballs at the base of every tree and the dog wouldn’t do his “business” in my yard. He’s still in “business” if you know what I mean.

Nit! No! Non! He did it anyway. Is this dog seriously lacking olfactory nodes? He can’t smell what I’ve been smelling for two weeks. He doesn’t have a clue.

Another friend said, “Just use one of those dog whistles.” Hey, you have to see the little freaky ninja mutt in order to blow the whistle for it to have any effect.  The little fiend comes at odd hours, unescorted by my down the street neighbor.

So, what’s a guy to do?

HOT SAUCE, my friend. Jabanero hookup… jalapeno pain, yo!

That’s right. Sniff a tote of that, my little furry friend!

I put a little pepper with it and some chili powder and paprika…threw in some crushed red pepper flakes…. gave it a little heat for real.

I grabbed a meshed packet from a little project I was doing and voila!

The critter ridder…the sling with a sting… the bag with a bang… and I placed it carefully at the base of the most often targeted “gift centers.”

I’m waiting… I’ll report soon.

 

Have You Had that Pesky Comment bot, yet! That makes me mad

No sooner than you put up a blog and some spammer comes along with a comment bot, saying something in broken English like, “You know what talking about. I sale SEO to make strong your blog”

That ticks me off, makes me mad, gets me hot….that some source of hot sauce for you!

When people deliberately use their intellect to seek to deceive or spam their way into your blog, then its a waste of their efforts and flings a further waste upon your time.

If you leave your blog open for legitimate comments, then you must leave yourself open to this kind of spamming.

Otherwise, you simply become a target for spam, or just a billboard on the internet highway that others can only drive by, read and keep going. No interaction, no mutual exchange of thought, no chance to actually engage with others.

Do you think just deleting such spammers is the way to handle it? Someone once told me that the greater impact to a person seeking our attention is not to go off on them, but rather to ignore them….to offer any response (favorable or disfavorable) is to reward their aggressive action to get a reaction from you.

On this occasion, I simply reported the spam but ignored the spammer. My genuine thought is, the spammer doesn’t care and the authority will be too slow to respond. To what end then, is any of it? The spammer doesn’t get what is sought, the authority is proven ineffective, and I’m troubled for nothing over something that is a nuisance.

What do you do?

Here’s what makes me MAD

Driving…just moving along, making good time, staying pleasant distance from all the other vehicles, deliberately not slowing anyone else down, and keeping an eye out for traffic cops and construction… then, someone turns into my lane and slows down. That makes me mad!

A traffic signal that changes right before I get there….then hangs….let’s a complete cycle go through a second time before it somehow trips and let’s me go.

Having a commute route that leaves me no choice but to come to that traffic signal once in the early morning hours and yet again in the late evening…an different amount of traffic each time, but the same timed sequence every time…it could be 100 cars or 10 cars and the signal will be just the same!

That’s what adds spice to my life every day of every week I go to work!

What’s your HEAT on a common commute….

I have a friend who know how to handle this kind of heat.

He comes to a similar traffic intersection each day….yet, when it is his return route and there is much less traffic, he actually goes to the right, makes a “u-turn” , returns to the intersection, makes a second right and just keeps driving on…. if I tried that, I’d get a traffic ticket, or worse, someone would broadside me when I tried the “u-turn” back to the intersection.

Not him, he’s done the same maneuver at the same intersection for over 5 years…not one incident, and he consistently lowers his HEAT.

I think what I’ll do is work out a commute plan with the man…but I’d have to move to his side of town…there’s no telling how much added HEAT that would bring to my life.